Buddhist temples in America vary more than almost anything else in this guide. A Japanese American temple might have pews, a Sunday service and hymns. A Zen center might have cushions and long silences. A Thai, Vietnamese or Tibetan temple is different again. So the first question for your friend is: what kind?
Before you go
Dress respectfully and modestly. Where people sit on the floor for a long time, loose, plain clothes help.
Shoes depend on the temple. At Shin Buddhist temples with pews, like Seattle’s and San Diego’s, shoes stay on. At many others they come off. Look for a pile by the door.
What happens
A Sunday service at a Shin temple, the kind many Japanese American families attend: chanting from a book that spells the words in English letters, hymns called gathas, a talk about the Buddha’s teaching, and an offering of incense. Many hold it Sunday morning.
A meditation session at a Zen or similar temple: bows, quiet sitting that begins and ends with a bell, and sometimes slow walking meditation.
Do and don’t
- Gassho is the usual gesture: a small bow with palms together. It shows respect and thanks.
- Don’t point your feet or turn your back toward the shrine or the teachers.
- Never put anything on the shrine, and don’t set Buddhist books or images on the floor.
- Don’t come or go during meditation. Speak softly.
- Photos: ask. San Diego’s temple allows them only after the incense offering.
- No food in the main hall. Many temples have a donation bowl, called dana.
What to say
A small bow with your hands together. If you’re not sure how to address a monk or nun, Tanenbaum suggests “Venerable.” Members are usually around after services to answer questions.
Worried?
“Do I have to bow or chant?” Services are open to everyone, and the chants are printed so you can follow along if you’d like. You can also just listen.
Try it on
When was the last time you sat in silence long enough to notice who was sitting next to you?